I’ve been reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle, and when I read this passage, it confirmed my purpose for becoming a Transformational Coach:
“So, I finally unlocked and unleashed her. I set free my beautiful, rowdy, and true wild self. Then, I built a life of my own. I did it by resurrecting the very parts of myself that I was trained to mistrust, hide, shame, and abandon in order to keep others comfortable:
My emotions…intuition…imagination…courage. Those are the keys to freedom. Those are who we are!”
Working with hundreds of women throughout my career, I’ve heard a similar theme from them: they felt restricted, depressed or “caged” by someone or something significant throughout their lives. They were desperately crying out to be released.
I used to think, why did they choose to tell me their deepest, darkest secrets? People have told me that I have a look where they feel comfortable in telling me real and vulnerable details. (Little ol’ introverted, empath me? LOL)
When I hit my own rock bottom in 2004, I sought out a guide to help me out of my deep depression. It was then that I learned I was mirroring back to each and every one of them, an unconscious desire to be set free!
Let me tell you, when I broke down and came through on the other side of that version of Denise, it was as if I was re-born and I was given the chance to start from scratch!! WOO HOO!!
So what’s this have to do with you and being exhausted?
Well, if you feel like you’ve been living your life:
“Shoulding” all over yourself
Holding back your true personality
Stifling your emotions
Feeling trapped in a cage”
Guilty for asking for what you want…..
It takes so much of your precious energy away, to live like that!
I want you to know that you CAN overcome these mental and emotional obstacles and get back your precious energy…AND keep it for what really matters to you!
You really can live your life free of those “caged” states of being.
I’ve done it and hundreds of others just like you have done it too!!
It takes a bit of slowing down, honest introspection, and a willingness to leave your past behind.
You will transcend and include all of the good, bad, and ugly from your past.
By learning how to create a new mindset, beliefs, and habits, you can become an upgraded version of YOU.
This cannot be accomplished quickly. There’s no shortcut, quick fix, or how-to checklist to overcome obstacles: true transformation takes time, patience, and the bravery to get uncomfortable.
However, if you’d like to start with one simple, easy step, I invite you to start with monitoring your Energy levels.
Notice if you can answer “YES” to any of these “energy-draining” habits:
- Have you had enough with “shoulding” all over yourself?
- Allowing someone else to dictate how you think, feel and behave?
- Putting yourself last on your list of priorities?
- Neglecting your self-care?
- Feeling guilty for taking time for yourself?
- Shaming yourself for spending money on what you want/need?
- Saying “Yes” when you really, really mean “No”?
- Giving your power over to someone else?
My task for you is to make a list of all of the things, people, places, thoughts, and habits that DRAIN your energy.
Then, make a list of all of the things, people, places, thoughts, and habits that REPLENISH your energy.
Leave the lists for 3 days.
Come back and introspectively sense and feel: what needs to be crossed off the list of energy “Drainers” and what can stay.
“But Denise, what about those necessary things that have to “stay” AND still drain my energy?”
I would suggest a simple reframe of your mindset and approach them with an easier, playful attitude.
For example, you have to do the laundry, visit the in-laws or go to work.
Would you be able to create a feelingness of “I get to do _____”?
When you approach a dreadful task with dreadful energy, it will suck!
I know you may have to go to work; would you be willing to carry a sense/feeling of gratitude that you have a job, a source of income, and the ability to work?
Approach these tasks with a loving, grateful feeling that you are alive and well, you will certainly experience ease and peace instead.
I’d love to hear from you if you do this task and about any insights that you gain.
With your health and happiness in mind,
P.S. Do you feel as if you’ve been struggling with something deep inside of you for far too long? Allow me to be your guide out of the struggles xo
I have 4 openings in my 6 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program, click on the link to set up a time to talk to me if you’re interested: Meet and greet