Speak to yourself with love

Speak to yourself with love


Are you speaking to yourself with “foul language”?

I’m talking about more than the swear words you use when you forget the pot of water boiling on the stove or when you catch your pinky toe on a wooden chair.

The “foul language” that I am referring to the self-defeating, hostile, and self-abusive kind. The words that would make your pet or child recoil and cry.

While back up in N.J. last week, I was with my family and heard lots of “foul language” coming out of their mouths. Yelling at the T.V., bitching about so and so, and bad-mouthing Aunt X.

So many of their words were filled with judgment, violence, and forceful control. Sentences to induce pessimism, negativity and fear.

The neighbors next to my Airbnb were even spouting passive-aggressive comments at me for being from Virginia!!

WTF?? 😳 Oh, I’d forgotten how mean and nasty people spoke to each other and themselves.


Speak nicely to yourself please.


I always used to speak to myself with “foul language.” I considered myself fat, ugly, stupid, useless, and never good enough.

Precious little me doubted my ability to function in society. I would spiral into overthinking patterns, sabotage myself, and not take action because I was so scared to fail.

At the time, I didn’t know why I felt this way. Fast-forward to today, and it’s clear where those sayings came from!

Little did I know back then that my self-talk was impacting my mood, health, and gut. (No wonder I had stomach issues as a kid!)

It was a relief to get back home, away from those emotional and environmental triggers. My husband and son never speak so harshly.


Learning to let go of the old


I am grateful to have overcome those habitual patterns of speaking and thinking about myself and others. And, I can always trust my “gut” to give me feedback if I should believe or say something mean to myself.

I am sharing this with you because if you happened to be programmed to use such language growing up, you can change it. You have a choice. Words have compelling biochemical responses in your body, and you do not have to speak to yourself in a mean or negative way.

Yes, I know that many of us Gen-Xers were “disciplined” in frightening, abusive, and damaging ways, but you do not have to continue to do that to yourself.


“You have a choice as an adult.”


Here’s a “Task” for you if what I’ve been saying has struck a nerve or made your tummy curl up in knots:

  1. Forgive yourself for how you’ve been speaking to yourself and your precious body in the past.
  2. Get out a journal and write all of the “foul language” that you’ve been quietly saying to yourself in your head and out loud to others.
  3. Give yourself time to release the feelings and old emotions that those words hold for you.
  4. Get out a new page and create new words, self-talk, and language that fills you with love, happiness, positivity, and possibilities. Words that inspire you and promote the life you wish to live.
  5. Practice using these new words and sayings until they become your new habit. Enjoy how much better you feel about yourself and others.
  6. Thank yourself for doing this process.
  7. If you get stuck, send me a message and I can help you.


Have a fantastic time creating another day being YOU!!

Denise xo


P.S. If you want to learn how to change your self-talk in a quick and fun way, jump over to my Limited Time Mini-Coaching offer to learn more.





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